Darnell

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about them star cookie cutters, you know, the things for makin’ them star-shaped cookies. I ain’t no fancy baker or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about makin’ cookies, and good cutters are important. First off, you got all sorts of star cookie cutters out there. Some are big, some are small, and some come in sets, like them stainless steel ones. I seen some that are just one big star, and others that got like, five or even thirteen stars in a pack!…

Alright, let’s gab about these here beer coolers, you know, the things that keep your drinks cold as a well digger’s butt in January. I ain’t no fancy expert, but I know a thing or two about keepin’ a beer cold, especially when it’s hotter than a pistol out there. First off, you got them little fridges, the ones they call “beverage refrigerators”. Sounds all highfalutin, but it just means a small fridge you keep your beer and soda in. Some got glass doors, so you can see what you…

Alright, alright, let’s talk about this Ninja Creami thing and makin’ some gelato, you know, like that fancy ice cream the city folks eat. I heard tell it’s real good, so I figured, why not try makin’ it myself? This here machine, the Ninja Creami, they say it can do it all, and fast too. Quicker than churnin’ it by hand, that’s for sure. First off, they say you gotta have a good recipe. Now, I ain’t got no fancy cookbooks, but I reckon I can figure somethin’ out. They…

Alright, let’s talk about these meal in a jar recipes, you know, the kind you can just throw together and they last forever? I ain’t no fancy cook, mind you, but even I can handle this stuff. And let me tell ya, it’s a lifesaver when you don’t feel like fussing in the kitchen. First off, why jars? Well, they’re cheap, that’s one thing. And you can see what’s inside, no more guessing what that old container in the back of the cupboard is. Plus, things just seem to last…

Alright, let’s talk about them colorful and healthy desserts, you know, the kind they put in them crossword puzzles. I ain’t no fancy cook or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about good eatin’. First off, they got this thing called GELATIN. Sounds fancy, huh? It’s seven letters, just like they say in them puzzles. My grandbaby, she loves them jiggly things. We make ‘em with fruit, all sorts of colors, like them red strawberries and them yellow pineapples. Makes it real purdy, and the kids eat it…

Alright, let’s talk about this “white lightning” drink. I ain’t no fancy bartender or nothin’, just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two. Folks used to call it all sorts of names back in the day, moonshine, hooch, white dog… you get the picture. Strong stuff, that’s for sure. Made folks do silly things, dance on tables, sing off-key, sometimes even fight. What is this White Lightning Anyway? Now, from what I gather, this “white lightning” ain’t just one thing. It’s kinda like callin’ all cars “vehicles,” you…

Alright, let’s talk about this Cava dessert thing, you know, like the sweet stuff after you eat your fill. I ain’t no fancy chef or nothin’, just a plain ol’ person who likes a good treat now and then. So, if you’re lookin’ for some uppity-gook talk, you best go somewhere else, ’cause I’m gonna tell it to ya straight, just like it is. Now, this Cava place, I hear it’s a restaurant, some kinda “Mediterranean” joint. Sounds foreign, don’t it? But hey, food is food, as long as it…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about this Maradona drink energy stuff. I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just tellin’ it like it is. So, this drink, it’s got Maradona’s name on it, that football fella, the one everyone made a fuss about. Heard he was good, real good, though I never watched much of that kickin’ ball stuff myself. Too busy workin’ the land, ya know? Anyways, they got this drink, see? An “energy drink” they call it. Now, I’ve had my share of coffee, strong stuff, keeps ya goin’…

Alright, let’s talk about this “Walk Me Down Drink,” whatever that fancy name means. Sounds like somethin’ you’d need after a long day workin’ in the fields, not that I ever did much field work, mind you. My back ain’t built for that. So, from what I gather, this here drink is strong, real strong. They throw everything but the kitchen sink in it, like them city folks do. Vodka, yeah, I heard of that. Rum, that’s the stuff pirates drink, or so they say in them movies. Gin? Don’t…

Alright, let’s talk about them sweet wines, the ones you drink after dinner, you know? Not the regular stuff you gulp down with your food. These are special, like for holidays or when you wanna feel fancy, even if you ain’t. So, they call ‘em “dessert wines,” I guess ‘cause you drink ‘em with dessert. Makes sense, right? But Lord, some of these names are a mouthful! I can barely say ‘em, but I can sure drink ‘em! Heh. First off, there’s this “fortified wine” stuff. That means they added…