Simo

[Body] Alright, so you wanna know about them St. Augustine dinner cruises, huh? Let me tell ya, it’s somethin’ else. I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, but I’ll tell ya what I know, the way I know how. First off, what’s a dinner cruise anyway? Well, it’s like this: you get on a boat, right? A big ol’ boat, sometimes fancy, sometimes not so fancy. And they feed ya! Yeah, they give ya dinner while you’re sailin’ around lookin’ at stuff. Water, mostly. And maybe some houses or trees…

Alright, listen up, y’all. Gotta write one of them thank you thingies, you know, for when someone feeds ya. Yeah, a thank you note for dinner. Don’t know why folks make such a big fuss about it, but hey, manners and all that, right? So, someone done cooked you a meal, huh? That’s mighty nice of ‘em. First thing ya gotta do is say thank you, right then and there. Don’t just stuff your face and waddle off like a hog at a trough. Look ‘em in the eye and…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about this here Kiui Strawbery Naturak Fraveer with Electrulytes Drink Mix, whatever that long name means. I ain’t no fancy scientist, ya know. Just a plain ol’ person tryin’ to figure out what this stuff is all about. First off, they say it’s got “electrulytes.” Sounds all highfalutin, but from what I gather, it’s just stuff your body loses when you sweat, like when you’re workin’ hard in the fields all day. Now, most days, I reckon I get enough of them things just from eatin’…

[Body] Okay, so you wanna know about them decorative cookies, huh? Let me tell ya, it ain’t just flour and sugar, no sirree. It’s a whole lotta fuss, but when you get it right, oh boy, they’re somethin’ special. First off, you gotta start with good stuff. Like them fancy folks say, “gourmet” ingredients. I ain’t knowin’ much about gourmet, but I know good butter when I taste it. You need that real butter, the kind that smells like sunshine and makes your mouth water. And vanilla, gotta be real…

Alright, let’s talk about them sweet wines from Italy, the kind you sip after a big meal, you know? Folks call ’em “dessert wines,” fancy name, huh? I just call ’em good sippin’ wines. First off, there’s this Moscato d’Asti. It’s kinda sweet, got them little bubbles, not too strong, like a fizzy drink for grown-ups. Easy to drink, that’s for sure. My grandkids, they like it too, but I tell ’em, “Not too much, little ones, it’s got a kick!” It’s good with them fancy pastries, you know, the…

Well, if you ain’t heard of the Pink Pussy drink, let me tell ya, it’s somethin’ you’ll wanna try. It’s all fruity and pink and makes ya feel like a whole new person. I don’t know who came up with this drink, but they sure knew what they was doin’. Now, don’t get confused, we ain’t talkin’ ’bout no furry little critter here, no sir. This is a drink, a very refreshing one, I might add, that’ll make your taste buds dance like a rooster in the morning! Now, to…

Alright, so you’re lookin’ for cookie trays, huh? Near you, you say? Well, lemme tell ya, cookies is good for anythin’. Birthdays, meetin’s, holidays, whatever! Folks love cookies, that’s just a fact. Now, I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but I know a thing or two about gettin’ things done. You want them cookies fast, right? Some places, they’ll bring ’em right to your door. Like that Instacart thing the young’uns talk about. They say it’s fast, like in an hour or somethin’. And the first time, it don’t cost…

Alright, let’s talk about this takin’ a drink to the bathroom thing, is it kosher or not? Now, I ain’t no fancy rabbi or nothin’, but I’ve heard some things and seen some things, and I’ll tell ya what I know. First off, some folks say the bathroom ain’t a clean place, not in a dirt way, but in a spirit way, ya know? They say bringin’ food or drinks in there, well, it ain’t right. Like the spirit dirtiness gonna stick to your food or somethin’. Makes sense, I…

You ever heard of that Ninja Creamie thing? Well, if you ain’t, let me tell ya, it’s a nifty little gadget for making some cold, slushy drinks, and even ice cream, though you ain’t gonna use it like a regular blender. I got mine a while back, and let me tell ya, it’s been a real game-changer around here. You don’t need no fancy blender with all them buttons to make a good ol’ ice drink. This Ninja Creamie? It’s simple, just gotta know what you’re doing, and you’ll be…

Alright, listen up, y’all. We’re gonna talk about this here “elimination diet,” whatever that fancy name means. It’s about figuring out what grub’s makin’ your belly ache or your skin itch, you hear? It ain’t rocket science, just plain ol’ common sense, kinda like weeding out the bad plants from your garden. So, this diet thing, it’s like givin’ your insides a break. You stop eatin’ a bunch of stuff that might be causin’ you trouble. I ain’t talkin’ ’bout just eatin’ less, I’m talkin’ ’bout cuttin’ out the usual…