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Alright, let’s talk about makin’ sausage gravy, but hold yer horses, we ain’t usin’ no milk or cream today! Yep, you heard that right. Sometimes you just ain’t got that stuff in the fridge, or maybe your belly don’t like it, so whatcha gonna do? Give up on good ol’ sausage gravy? Not on my watch! First thing’s first, you gotta get yourself some sausage. Now, I like the spicy kind, gives it a little kick, you know? But you use what you like. Fry that sausage up in a…

Dinno Tube, huh? What’s all the fuss about? Well, let me tell ya, it’s like this. My grandkids, they’re always glued to that there…thingy… the internet. And this Dinno Tube, it’s got all sorts of videos. Videos about everything! You got your funny cat videos, ya know, the ones where they jump and fall and do silly things. Them kids, they just laugh and laugh. Then there’s them cooking shows. I swear, some of them folks make the fanciest food I ever did see. Not like my cooking, mind you….

Alright, let’s talk about this here Red Death drink. I heard folks callin’ it that, sounds kinda scary, don’t it? But don’t you go frettin’, it ain’t nothin’ to be too afeared of, unless ya drink too much of it, I reckon. Then again, too much of anything ain’t good for ya, even too much water will make ya belly ache. Now, what’s in this Red Death, you ask? Well, it’s a whole buncha stuff mixed together. They say it’s got this “sloe gin,” whatever that is. Sounds fancy, huh?…

Well, let me tell ya about this Grinch cookie cutter thing. I ain’t no fancy baker, but even I can figure out these ain’t just for makin’ cookies. First off, what is it? It’s a thingamajig, usually made outta metal or plastic, shaped like that grumpy Grinch fella, you know, from that Christmas story. They got all sorts, some just the Grinch’s head, some his whole body, and even some with his dog, Max, and that little Cindy Lou Who girl. You press it down on the dough, and bam!…

Alright, let’s talk about some grub for a big get-together, you know, a potluck. And not just any grub, we’re makin’ Indian food! Yep, potluck recipes indian, that’s what we’re doin’ today. First off, you gotta have somethin’ everyone likes, somethin’ creamy and tasty. I’m talkin’ about Butter Chicken. You know, that chicken in that orange sauce? Yeah, that one. It ain’t hard to make, even for an old gal like me. Get yourself some chicken, some yogurt, some spices – you know, the usual stuff like ginger, garlic, and…

Alright, let’s talk about this Gorilla Cookies stuff. I ain’t no fancy scientist or nothin’, but I know what’s what when I see it, you hear? First off, what is this Gorilla Cookies anyway? Sounds like somethin’ you’d give to a big ol’ ape, or maybe somethin’ you bake in the oven. Well, it ain’t neither one of them things. From what I gather, it’s this… uh… “strain,” they call it. Like a special kind of… plant, I guess. Now, they say this Gorilla Cookies is real potent. That means…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about these here dinner candles. Folks these days, they always lookin’ for somethin’ fancy, somethin’ to make things all “romantic,” you know? Back in my day, we didn’t need no fancy candles. We had the moon, the stars, and if we were lucky, a little kerosene lamp. But times change, I guess. Now, if you gonna use these dinner candles, you gotta do it right. Don’t just stick ’em any old place. You want that “warm, soft light” them fancy folks talk about. They…

Alright, let’s talk about makin’ them dairy free dinner rolls, yeah? My grandkids, they got all sorts of bellyaches if they eat the regular stuff, so I learned to make these without all that milk and butter. It ain’t rocket science, I tell ya. First thing’s first, you gotta get your flour. I just use the regular white stuff, nothin’ fancy. You dump a bunch in a big bowl, how much? Well, enough to feed your crowd, I guess. I usually just eyeball it. Then, you need some yeast. That’s…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout this… this “cum drinking glips” thing. I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I’ve heard things and seen things, you know? People do all sorts of stuff behind closed doors, and this ain’t no different, I reckon. Now, first off, what even IS this “cum drinking,” huh? Sounds mighty strange if you ask me. But from what I gather, it’s about, well… swallowin’ a man’s… you know… his “stuff.” Don’t make me spell it out for ya, I’m too old for that…

Alright, alright, let’s talk about these here lick mats for dogs. You know, the things them city folks are always goin’ on about. Never had nothin’ like that when I was growin’ up, but I guess times change, eh? Anyways, they say these mats are good for keepin’ your dog busy and happy, so let’s see what all the fuss is about. What are lick mats anyway? Well, from what I gather, they’re just flat things, like a plate but with a bunch of bumps and grooves on ’em. You…