Cookies

Hello there, you young folks! Let me tell ya ’bout this here… uh… hello kitty cookie cutter thingamajig. Don’t rightly know what all the fuss is about, but my grandbaby, she loves it. So, here I am, talkin’ ’bout it. Now, what is this thing? Well, it ain’t nothin’ fancy. It’s just a little piece of metal or plastic, shaped like that there… hello kitty cat. You know, the one with no mouth? Yeah, that one. You use it to make cookies, I reckon. Or maybe play-doh, if you’re a…

Well, howdy there! Today, we’re gonna yak about them Halloween cookie jars. You know, them things you stuff cookies in, but make ’em all spooky for Halloween? Yeah, that’s what we’re talkin’ ’bout. First off, I saw some of them Disney Nightmare Before Christmas cookie jars. Real fancy-lookin’ things, they are. Got Jack Skellington and all them spooky fellers on ’em. Kids love that stuff, I reckon. But they ain’t cheap, no sirree. Gotta shell out some serious cash for them Disney things. Then there’s them Johanna Parker Halloween cookie…

Well, let me tell ya about this Grinch cookie cutter thing. I ain’t no fancy baker, but even I can figure out these ain’t just for makin’ cookies. First off, what is it? It’s a thingamajig, usually made outta metal or plastic, shaped like that grumpy Grinch fella, you know, from that Christmas story. They got all sorts, some just the Grinch’s head, some his whole body, and even some with his dog, Max, and that little Cindy Lou Who girl. You press it down on the dough, and bam!…

Alright, let’s talk about these grandma cookies vanilla. You know, the kind that just melt in your mouth? Yeah, those ones. First off, you gotta get your stuff together. I ain’t got no fancy names for it, just the regular stuff, you know? Flour, that’s the white powdery thing, the kind you use for everything. And sugar, the sweet stuff, the white kind, not that brown sugar stuff, that’s for other things. You need real butter, none of that fake stuff. The real deal, it makes a difference, trust me…

Alright, let’s talk about this Gorilla Cookies stuff. I ain’t no fancy scientist or nothin’, but I know what’s what when I see it, you hear? First off, what is this Gorilla Cookies anyway? Sounds like somethin’ you’d give to a big ol’ ape, or maybe somethin’ you bake in the oven. Well, it ain’t neither one of them things. From what I gather, it’s this… uh… “strain,” they call it. Like a special kind of… plant, I guess. Now, they say this Gorilla Cookies is real potent. That means…

Alright, alright, let’s talk about these here garlic cookies. Sounds crazy, I know, like somethin’ my old man woulda dreamed up after too much moonshine. But lemme tell ya, these ain’t your grandma’s sugar cookies, no sirree. First off, ya gotta get yourself some garlic. Not that powdered stuff, the real deal, them cloves. Now, I ain’t got no fancy kitchen gadgets, so I just boil ‘em in water ‘til they get soft. Boil ‘em good, maybe five minutes or so, ’til they ain’t hard as rocks no more. Then…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout this here Fortune Cookie stuff. I ain’t no fancy expert or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about feelin’ good. And this Fortune Cookie, well, it makes ya feel real good, ya know? Folks say it’s got some kinda fancy names in it, like “Sherb” and “Biscotti.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d get at the city bakery, not somethin’ you’d, uh, smoke. But hey, whatever works, right? Now, they tell me this stuff is strong. They call it “dank,” whatever that means….

Alright, let’s talk about these Emperador cookies. I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just gonna tell ya how it is, like I’m chattin’ with ya over the fence. First off, they call this thing the “ruler of all sandwich cookies.” Well, ain’t that somethin’? Sounds mighty important, like the king of the cookie world or somethin’. But is it really? We’ll see. Now, they got all sorts of flavors, I hear. Chocolate, that’s a good one. And lime? That’s a bit strange, ain’t it? I ain’t never had no…

Easter Cookie Cutters Well, hello there! Let’s talk about them Easter cookie cutters, you know, the things you use to make them fancy cookies for the kids. I ain’t no baker, mind you, but even I can use these things. First off, what kind are there? Oh, honey, there’s a whole bunch! You got your Easter bunny cookie cutters, of course. That’s the one everyone wants, the little rabbit shape. Kids love them rabbits. Then there’s egg cookie cutters, just like real eggs but flat and, you know, for cookies….

My dog, that little fella, he ate a chocolate chip cookie. You know, those little brown things with the sweet chips in ‘em? Yeah, one of those. Scared the living daylights outta me, I tell ya. I heard somewhere chocolate ain’t good for dogs, somethin’ about it bein’ poison or somethin’. So, I got to frettin’ somethin’ fierce. Is chocolate really bad for dogs? Well, from what I gathered, it is. It ain’t like they’ll drop dead right away from one little cookie, but it ain’t good for ‘em. It’s…