Alright, listen up, y’all! We’re gonna talk about somethin’ everyone knows a little somethin’ about – drinkin’! Yeah, you heard me right. And not just any drinkin’, we’re talkin’ about them different levels of drinkin’, the kinda stuff you see on that Tumblr thing all the young’uns are always lookin’ at. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do, okay?
So, first, you got that “social sippin’” level. That’s when you’re just havin’ a little somethin’ with your friends, you know? Maybe a beer or two, a glass of wine. Nothin’ crazy. You’re still talkin’ sense, walkin’ straight, ain’t nobody fallin’ over or nothin’. It’s all good, everyone’s laughin’, tellin’ stories. That’s the fun part, ain’t it? Just bein’ with folks you like and havin’ a good time. This stage is like, “Hey, how you doin’? Nice weather we’re havin’.” You get the picture.
Then comes the “feelin’ good” stage. This is where things start to get a little…looser. You’re talkin’ a bit louder, laughin’ a bit harder. Maybe you’re tellin’ them same stories you already told, but hey, who’s countin’? You start thinkin’ you’re a real comedian, makin’ jokes left and right. Some are funny, some… well, you think they’re funny. You might start dancin’ a little, even if there ain’t no music. This is when you start thinkin’ you can sing too. Lord help us all. This is the “I love you, man!” stage. Everyone’s your best friend.
- Social Sippin’: Just a little somethin’, stayin’ chill.
- Feelin’ Good: Gettin’ loose, laughin’ a lot, maybe dancin’.
- Tipsy Turvy: Stumblin’ a bit, words gettin’ mixed up.
- Full-Blown Drunk: Seein’ double, talkin’ nonsense, might fall down.
- Blackout: Don’t remember nothin’, wake up with a headache.
Next up, you got the “tipsy turvy” level. This is where things get a little… wobbly. You’re stumblin’ a bit, maybe bumpin’ into things. Your words gettin’ all mixed up, and you’re slurring like you got a mouth full of marbles. You might start losin’ things – your keys, your phone, your mind. This is also when you start makin’ promises you can’t keep and tellin’ secrets you probably shouldn’t. You know, like tellin’ your Aunt Mildred you always hated her fruitcake. Oops. You might start thinkin’ you can do anything. “I can totally climb that tree!” No, you can’t. Sit down.
Then comes the “full-blown drunk” stage. This ain’t pretty, folks. You’re seein’ double, talkin’ nonsense, and probably fallin’ down. You might start cryin’ for no reason or gettin’ real mad at someone for lookin’ at you funny. You’re definitely not makin’ any sense, and you’re probably makin’ a fool of yourself. This is the stage where your friends gotta take care of you, make sure you don’t do somethin’ stupid, like try to drive home or wrestle a garbage can. You wake up the next mornin’ with a head that feels like a herd of elephants stompin’ through it and a mouth drier than the desert. And you probably got some weird bruises you can’t explain. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
And finally, the worst of ’em all, the “blackout” stage. This is when you don’t remember a darn thing. Nothin’. Zip. Zilch. You wake up the next day with a whole lotta shame and a whole lotta questions. “Where am I? How did I get here? Why is there a pineapple in my bed?” You gotta rely on your friends to tell you what happened, and trust me, you probably don’t wanna know. This is the stage you really gotta avoid. It ain’t worth it. You might end up on that Tumblr thing yourself, and not in a good way.
So there you have it, the levels of drinkin’, as seen through my eyes… or maybe not seen, dependin’ on how far you go. Just remember, drink responsible, folks. Know your limits, and don’t be a fool. It’s all fun and games until someone ends up with a lampshade on their head and a regret the size of Texas. You hear me?
And remember, this is all just for funsies. Don’t go gettin’ any crazy ideas now. This is just talkin’ about what folks post online, you know, them funny tumblr posts. It’s all supposed to be a laugh. Just be safe and take care of yourselves, alright?
Tags: [Tumblr, Funny, Drinking, Levels, Humor, Party, Alcohol, Memes, Relatable, Stories]
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