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Alright, let’s talk about them low calorie tequila drinks, you know, the kind that won’t make your pants too tight. I ain’t no fancy bartender or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about watchin’ my figure, even at my age. So listen up, and I’ll tell ya what I learned. First off, if you’re lookin’ to keep them calories down, you gotta ditch the sugary stuff. You know, them pre-made mixes and all that sweet junk. It’s just loaded with sugar, and that’s what makes ya pack on…

Alright, listen up, y’all! We’re gonna talk about somethin’ everyone knows a little somethin’ about – drinkin’! Yeah, you heard me right. And not just any drinkin’, we’re talkin’ about them different levels of drinkin’, the kinda stuff you see on that Tumblr thing all the young’uns are always lookin’ at. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do, okay? So, first, you got that “social sippin’” level. That’s when you’re just havin’ a little somethin’ with your friends, you know? Maybe a beer or two, a glass of…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about this here Kiui Strawbery Naturak Fraveer with Electrulytes Drink Mix, whatever that long name means. I ain’t no fancy scientist, ya know. Just a plain ol’ person tryin’ to figure out what this stuff is all about. First off, they say it’s got “electrulytes.” Sounds all highfalutin, but from what I gather, it’s just stuff your body loses when you sweat, like when you’re workin’ hard in the fields all day. Now, most days, I reckon I get enough of them things just from eatin’…

Alright, so you wanna know about this “kinky drink,” huh? Well, lemme tell ya, I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but I can tell ya what I know. It’s some kinda booze, that’s for sure. They call it a “liqueur,” which sounds all highfalutin, but it just means it’s sweet and flavored, like them fancy candies the grandkids eat. Now, this Kinky stuff, they got all sorts of flavors. I heard tell of “Kinky Pink,” “Kinky Blue,” and even a “Kinky Aloha.” Sounds like a bunch of hula dancers, if…

Well, let me tell ya, I’ve been around a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of things, but this here question about whether the water in Vermillion is safe to drink sure got me thinkin’. Now, if ya ask me, Vermillion’s water seems to be doin’ just fine. It’s been goin’ on for years, all nice and clean, straight from the tap. They’ve been keepin’ an eye on it too, with folks doin’ tests every month. Not just once, but ten times a month, checkin’ for bacteria and such….

Alright, let’s talk about this takin’ a drink to the bathroom thing, is it kosher or not? Now, I ain’t no fancy rabbi or nothin’, but I’ve heard some things and seen some things, and I’ll tell ya what I know. First off, some folks say the bathroom ain’t a clean place, not in a dirt way, but in a spirit way, ya know? They say bringin’ food or drinks in there, well, it ain’t right. Like the spirit dirtiness gonna stick to your food or somethin’. Makes sense, I…

You ever heard of that Ninja Creamie thing? Well, if you ain’t, let me tell ya, it’s a nifty little gadget for making some cold, slushy drinks, and even ice cream, though you ain’t gonna use it like a regular blender. I got mine a while back, and let me tell ya, it’s been a real game-changer around here. You don’t need no fancy blender with all them buttons to make a good ol’ ice drink. This Ninja Creamie? It’s simple, just gotta know what you’re doing, and you’ll be…

Well, now, let’s talk about somethin’ you might not expect – how them folks that make our furry friends look good might use a bit of the strong stuff. Now, I ain’t talkin’ ’bout gettin’ tipsy on the job, mind you. We’re talkin’ ’bout alcohol, the kind you might find in the medicine cabinet, not the liquor cabinet. Cleanin’ Up the Mess First off, these groomers, they gotta keep things spick and span. You got hair flyin’ everywhere, and who knows what else. So, they use alcohol to clean things…

Well, let me tell ya, these “hats with drinks” things, they’re somethin’ else. I seen ’em advertised, ya know, with pictures and all. Kids these days, they come up with the craziest things. First off, you got these drinkin’ helmets. Imagine, a helmet, but instead of protectin’ your head, it holds your drinks! Two cans, right there on the sides of your head, with straws comin’ down so you can sip while you’re doin’ whatever it is you’re doin’. Seems kinda silly to me, but I guess some folks find…

Well, let me tell you somethin’ about this here guanabana fruit drink. Folks call it by all sorts of names, you know, soursop, paw-paw, graviola, all that fancy stuff. But to me, it’s just guanabana, plain and simple. Now, where does this thing come from? They say it grows in them warm places, you know, where the sun always shines. Americas, they call it. Sounds far away, doesn’t it? But I reckon you can find it in the stores nowadays, even if you ain’t never been to them fancy places….